Luigi's Mansion Has Multiplayer

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  • Livello 15 - Banzai Bill
    Località:Da un regno governato da pesche e abitato da funghi umanoidi
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    SPOILER | Mostra
    It all started when our over-heralded star, Sal, woke up in a magical cornfield. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling scarcely stunned, Sal hit a banana, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he realized that his beloved ass was missing! Immediately he called his so-called buddy, Red&Green. Sal had known Red&Green for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. Red&Green was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... insensitive. Sal called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

    Red&Green picked up to a very ecstatic Sal. Red&Green calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters shudder before mating, yet 3-legged wallabies usually earnestly belch *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sal. Why was Red&Green trying to distract Sal? Because he had snuck out from Sal's with the ass only six days prior. It was a enchanting little ass... how could he resist?

    It didn't take long before Sal got back to the subject at hand: his ass. Red&Green turned red. Relunctantly, Red&Green invited him over, assuring him they'd find the ass. Sal grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Red&Green realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the ass and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Sal took the 'modded' Civic, he had take at least four minutes before Sal would get there. But if he took the Mudkip98's car? Then Red&Green would be very screwed.

    Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Red&Green was interrupted by six dimwitted Zackees that were lured by his ass. Red&Green cringed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling exasperated, he aimlessly reached for his gerbil and skillfully groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Mudkip98's car rolling up. It was Sal.

    Just yonder, Sal was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind Red&Green's place. Sal had severely hurt his ear during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Zackees suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the ass. One by one they latched on to Sal. Already weakened from his injury, Sal yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Zackees running off with his ass.

    But then God came down with His clever smile and restored Sal's ass. Feeling exasperated, God smote the Zackees for their injustice. Then He got in His 'modded' Civic and blasted away with the fortitude of 200,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a big pack of legless puppies. Sal vomited with joy when he saw this. His ass was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in nine minutes his favorite TV show, Pippe mentali, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet malaria'). Sal was elated. And so, everyone except Red&Green and a few bloody glove-toting venomous koalas lived blissfully happy, forever after.
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